The thing about being Jamaican

“Welcome to Jamrock, camp weh di thugs dem camp at, two pound a weed inna van back, it inna u handbag, your knapsack, it inna u bag pack”, the words of Damian “Junior Gong” Marley. To think that this is the first thing that comes to one’s mind when they think about Jamaica weed (pot). Not to mention when you leave the island, as a Jamaican, you meet up on somebody who is wondering why you don’t wear dreadlocks or talk patois (pat-wa).

Well lemme enlighten y’all.

  1. We do not all wear dreadlocks: Actually i would estimate that about 1 in every 1000 people have dreadlocks, we mostly wear low cut hair, dress neat and don’t chant.
  2. We are not all weed smokers: Again Majority of the population don’t smoke weed, we are all aware of it but society, contrary to belief frown upon weed smoking, oh and it is also illegal.
  3. We don’t wear straw hats:I couldn’t tell when last I’ve seen one of those, when we want shade we wear caps or sit in AC at work.
  4. No huts here: We don’t live in huts and shacks actually our houses are much stronger than most countries, even the USA. We don’t have drywall houses but houses made of concrete and cement (for the unstable weather).
  5. We love reggae but thats not all we listen to: I personally love alternative and some rock.
  6. We can speak properly too: When we are around other Jamaicans we speak pat-wa, but at work, places of business we will adapt and speak the queens English.
  7. Technology impeded: what speed internet do you have now? We don’t know what dial up is anymore, i am running 8MB per sec ADSL service right now, thanks to flow we have no problem with internet services.
  8. Our cellphone service is the best, Bar none. We only pay for making calls not receiving
  9. We DON’T say “No problem Mon”. Yes it has been said in countless movies even on more countless souvenirs but its all a lie, we don’t say “no problem mon” trust me we all got problems.
  10. We don’t have dirt roads: we’ve got pretty good roads, we may have a lot of potholes but its faaar from dirt roads, we even got a highway soon to span the entire country…we call it highway 2000, reminds me the highways in the US on a smaller scale though.
  11. We don’t drive those old soldier lorries yall see in the movies, we’ve got almost all those fancy cars…hummers, bmw, rsx, jaguars the works.
  12. We are not all poor, we’ve got some of the richest men in the world here who are Jamaican, and made their money legally.

To be continued….

I am a mystery wrapped in a riddle, seen by all known by few, The one always apart in company yet never alone in solitude.

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