FWB vs Phuck Buddies vs Relationship PT II
Back by popular demand the second part to the series aims to address the significance and vital roles each relationship plays and at what stage in life should one attempt these ‘relationships’.
Sadly there is no easy/simple answer as to when you should attempt these ‘relationships’ as many factors come into play that will affect the need. Some are:
Many people will not even consider a friends with benefits (fwb) or phuck buddy (pb) situation due to life choices, upbringing, values, maturity level, religion and a host of other inhibitions. Many people fail to understand that and as a result one person expects something out of the ‘relationship’ while the other doesn’t because the lines were not made completely clear and explicitly said or boundaries became clouded due to mind numbing totally orgasmic sex.
Totally wrong reason to get into anything but it happens and someone ends up getting hurt unless rebound guy/girl wanted a pb or fwb.
This section only applies to people with a pretty liberal approach to life.
Many people have different life stages in that at times they need a fwb/PB/relationship. Generally there is no order to the three and are totally dependent on factors in the person life.
-Some people are married to their job and just need a little sexual relief so a FWB/PB is great.
-A wild night happens and two friends end up in bed and its turns out to be just what they need and the FWB is born (Just so you know ladies ALL your guy friends if given the opportunity will sleep with you-there are exceptions to the rule but generally speaking ALL your guy friends will sleep with you under the right circumstances). For girls generally there is some underlying urge…with guys there is always that urge.
-You just came out of a bad relationship so you’re an emotional wreck but also a nympho so a PB will do great
-You feel to try something new and wild and the opportunity presented itself so you go for it and found out that hey…you like it!
– A one night stand was so mind blowing you took it to another level.
-You need a change…you’ve always been in a relationship and you want to be emotionally emancipated
-Relationships are hard and you just want something simpler. Sometimes you don’t want the commitment and expectations. (Thanks T)
Contrary to what people say relationships are not based on trust, honesty communication and all that crap. It’s all about COMPROMISE and if you are not willing to give up part of yourself then you’re not ready for a relationship.
Personally I think that everyone should try at each of these ‘relationships’ at least once. Simple reason is that they can be fun but more in that you learn a lot about yourself, what works for you and what you want at what stage of you life.
A Relationship in this novice writers point of view the most, complex, heart aching, compromising of the three and if you can conquer this you can do anything. You learn about all the things you can tolerate about someone, your emotional limits and what you want from someone.
A Friend with benefits is probably the easiest one to transition through as you are having sexual relations with someone you have already established a non-sexual relationship with and you don’t have to worry about making many compromises and there is s0me level of comfortabilty (know its not a word but it suits its purpose). You learn about your body as a sexual temple yet you preserve your emotional well being.
A phuck buddy is as it suggests…raw primal urges being satisfied. If that isn’t being done what is its purpose?
NB you might hear me talking about emotional well being but bear in mind that ALL these ‘relationships’ can set you up for emotional upheaval. You play the game to lone and sex becomes confused with emotional stability and that can very well break the relationship. If BOTH parties are not ready to change the nature of the relationship *forward then problems will arise.
*(Forward being the order given in pt 1 from lowest to highest—Phuck Buddy => Friends with benefits => Relationship)
Finally: Sex isn’t hard…sex is easy. Anybody can have sex. It’s when the emotions come into play it becomes hard. Many people can detach themselves from the emotional aspect. If you can’t do it don’t worry some things are just not for you. Can you learn to detach yourselves? Maybe but don’t hurt yourself in the quest to find out. Be honest to yourselves about what you want (many guys can’t do that).
Don’t let stereotyping and society prevent you from experiencing something new. If it comes to that keep your life private and your sex life a secret. Have fun with it…experiment, make acceptable mistakes and learn from them. Never forget to be safe in your encounters and never trust anyone fully until you can trust yourself. Love life and live it
Footnote: Many people enter into a relationship for two month bouts not getting much out of it and the only that was good about it was the sex. Listen…call a duck a duck, don’t call that a relationship because you don’t want people to think you just in it for the sex. Maybe that wasn’t the goal but that’s what it ended up to be. NOTHING is wrong with a PB or FWB, if you think there is like i said:
KEEP YOUR LIFE PRIVATE AND YOUR SEX LIFE A SECRET!