All articles by Nuffcrap


Religious Hard Talk

After reading Spanish Inquistor’s blog I have a few questions about religion and Christianity that i need answering. It seems that whenever a person is unsure about the whole religion thing and they need questions answered, the people who should know the answer either don’t answer with them saying that you shouldn’t question what is or they give you some round the bush answer that doesn’t really answer anything. You know what I’m talking about, the whole FAITH answer, you know, telling you to have faith and don’t question God for if you do bad thing will happen. Its like
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FWB vs Phuck Buddies vs Relationship PT II

Sadly there is no easy/simple answer as to when you should attempt these ‘relationships’ as many factors come into play that will affect the need. Some are:

Personal Belief
Many people will not even consider a friends with benefits (fwb) or phuck buddy (pb) situation due to life choices, upbringing, values, maturity level, religion and a host of other inhibitions. Many people fail to understand that and as a result one person expects something out of the ‘relationship’ while the other doesn’t because the lines were not made completely clear and explicitly said or boundaries became clouded due to mind numbing totally orgasmic sex.


You damn oxyMORON

Life can be bitter sweet with the ups and downs and the ins and outs. When you think about it, your life, my life, is astronomically small compared to all that have passed and is to come. Life for me is brilliantly dull, its almost candid really, i am doing nothing, with my eyes wide shut to the world. I had a once fail safe idea of basically living dead, i.e. creating nothing but boring excitement to keep myself out of trouble…that didn’t work. The numbing sensation i felt told me that wasn’t the way to go, it was best
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Female Porn

During my daily morning stumble i came across a rather interesting set of pictures, according to them female porn is totally non-sexual in nature and is mostly things that they wish that men would do….you know what see for yourself:


Candle Malfunction

Ever had a device stop working or malfunction? your car, celphone, tv remote or even a flashlight? and do these malfunctions usually occur when you need the device most? Well, have you ever had a candle malfunction on you? i have. I’m not talking about the flame being blown out without the slightest hint of a breeze or it just not being able to be lit, I’m talking about an actual malfunction… a faulty or abnormal functioning. Days after Hurricane Dean, I am yet to get back electricity (sad i know but thats life for ya) and i had to
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Is life out there?

The age old question….are we alone in the universe. Is earth the only planet that has intelligent life, to have flowing rivers, a blue sky, breathable air? Well in order to answer this question, as with my other C.R.A.P., i shall enter the realm of absolute speculation. From the little i know of statistics (gosh i seem to know a very little of everything) the more objects in a pool the greater the possibility of a unique occurrence happening more than once. So imagine an infinitely large pool (the universe), the possibility of the existence of more than one unique
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Sex Sells

Is it just me or have you realized that most slogans today are sexually connotative. Maybe its just me but whatever. We all know that sex sells but these people are taking it too far, creating these messages to subliminally implant a sex image in our heads to get us to buy their products.., sick i tell you sick. So to help them in with their cause here is my list of sex based slogans and taglines that have subliminally taken over the sex drive: Do you have the bunny inside?- Energizer He keeps going and going and going.-Energizer Live
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Believe Nothing

  Hmmm thats absolute crap….apparently buddah didn’t come to Jamaica. Do you want to know what real ignorance is? come to Jamaica.



My very first blog was on Blogger, it was chosen as it was the most mentioned during my searches on how to start a blog and the various blog engines that i could use. I gave my blog a name, chose my template and wrote my first post, after a while i tweaked it a bit by changing the color scheme, added adsense and and a few widgets, it looked great. But something was missing, to this day i have no idea what it was. I discovered wordpress after doing some blog surfing one day, after noticing major differences i
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How much does kindness cost?

 A friend of mine saw the hunger in my eyes after the hurricane (lack of cooked in a food seeing that there was no electricity) and she gave me what she had, two starburst in an easy to open mini pack. I dont know about anyone but that is real kindness. I then looked at the people around me, how many people would do that? a simple thing as giving someone a mini pack of starburst. You’d think that anybody would do that, i don’t think so, why? simple most people are mean. They will not even give you a
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R.I.P. Dean

Here is a some footage i caught of Dean ravaging country…wait for it… Another video of a man trying to remove some of the water from his home after the passing of Dean. For photos of damage by Dean visit here The storm has passed, leaving in its wake millions in damage, destroyed homes and broken spirits. Majority of the country is still without light, water and a roof over their heads. We hoped for the best and we got it, it was not a direct hit, no lives were lost (so far) and we are here to see tomorrow.
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The eye of the storm

(click for larger image) “Rain rain go away come again another day” Battering rooftops, pulling up trees, flooding streets, the monster is now creating havoc and is destroying everything in its path. I can look through the window and see shadows of things being carried to the heavens ironically by a force coming straight from hell. No news is coming in except from a small battery operated radio, as the light went but luckily for me, my ADSL modem has a battery. This is my last signal out for a while, we are safe indoors watching the somewhat surreal events
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The first drop

(click for larger image) I went outside tonight to escape the heat and the constant reminders of what is to come echoing from the tv. It is rather quiet but the stillness is very ominous. The first drop of rain fell on my face, telling me to look up from whence it came, the sky is now littered with small black masses that are clumping together releasing the first drops of Dean. The power company notified us today over the television that due to the imminent hurricane, power will be out island wide as early as 10am. Water will be
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The calm before the storm

(click for larger image) The atmosphere still, skies clear, unbearable heat and there is a general ominous feeling of discontent. People are now scared, remembering what Gilbert and Ivan did to the country, the devastation and grief. To prevent loss of life, damage to property and to prepare for the possible after effects of this category 4 hurricane, there is a rush to the supermarkets and hardware stores. Bumper to bumper traffic in the towns now filled with people buying from buckets to tanks, from flashlights to generators, people are even buying machetes to help protect their families from possible
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Internet Lingo on the mind?

Very funny but true, the object of this post came up in a discussion yesterday with a friend of mine (who wishes to remain nameless) and after a little research i realized how many people are afflicted with this…problem. During the very heated discussion, a joke was cracked and my friend began to laugh uncontrollably and the after a few seconds, without notice, silence fell and she said to me “you know, i am here laughing and all that’s going through my head is ‘lol’ and ‘dwl’”. I thought about what she had just said and i realized what she
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This cartoon was so funny i had to give it a post on its own:


The Storm gains strength

(click on image for larger version) So dean is still on a direct path for Jamaica, everybody is now aware of the imminent storm and are preparing for the winds and rain (unlike someone who likes to write CRAP). Offices are issuing notices about office preparedness and safety measures, supermarkets are now stacking their shelves with grocery items, and a lot of people are flying out (or in) to avoid the storm. Apart from that the atmosphere is relatively calm, business as usual. Here is a bulletin that was issued: “At 8 a.m. ET, the centre of Hurricane Dean (which
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The problem with women

“It doesn’t matter ladies what your perfect man is like. If he was right in front of you, you wouldn’t notice him because you’re looking for all the wrong things in all the wrong places” –Matthew Maharaj Here are a few problems i have with women to say that they are the only ones. One minute you say something but you mean something else: we are neither mind readers nor are we clairvoyant, to say something and when we act accordingly we hear thats not what you meant, if problems are caused by our actions is because of the wrong/misleading
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The storm approaches

So this is my attempt to log the events before and after tropical storm Dean. (click on image for larger version) So far Dean is in the atlantic and is expected to reach Jamaica within 6 days and appears to be heading right for us. Here in Jamaica most people are yet aware of the impending storm and life is business as usual, just mild showers that everyone is use to. And even if they were aware of the storm, preparations would still be left until last minute, besides to Jamaicans anything less than a category 3 is a drizzle.
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Places i couldn’t work pt2

  I couldn’t work at a car dealership. Every weekend I’d be rolling out in a new set of wheels. Hmmm so if i crash id be in deep shit, if the manager found out id be in deep shit but hey.


The Last Question by Isaac Asimov © 1956

  This a VERY good story, please read in its entirety and DONT jump to the end (trust me), this is really good C.R.A.P. =========================================== The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way:


Are the Children getting the money?

Lets start this post with a video to get everyone in the right frame of mind.   Here are the key phrases: For years we have been taking you to places like this showing you the heartbreak. We know you thought about it, put it on a nice to do list but never got around to doing it. And its not like you’ll feel bad by doing it, you’ll feel great for sponsoring a kid, everyday after you get up. So why not now. Pure Genius! These guys are masters of the game. The Global Warming Activists have nothing on
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Friends With Benefits vs Phuck Buddies vs Relationship

Whats the difference between the three? well a friend with benefits (fwb) is a guy or girl thats your friend, y’all do the friends stuff ie hang out, chill, socialize, go to the movies with other friends, talk about potential significant others but the fundamental difference between a regular friend and a fwb is that you have some form of sexual relations. No that doesn’t make what you have a relationship because you are not emotionally attached the way couples are. A Phuck Buddy is a guy/girl who you have sexual relations with but you each have your own friend
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Things other people rant about pt1

Big up to my friend Kurupt for sharing this piece: “Yeah so i’m tired (tired of what?), I’m tired of hearing men go on and on about women want? they’re complicated, never say what they want or what they mean. I mean come on, really!, a woman always knows what she wants, U just don’t listen (yes yes i’m sure u guys hear that a lot), but duh, i mean characteristics that men claim annoys them about a woman is that they talk 2 much, they always want to talk about their feelings blah blah blah…well WTF dats when we
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Got Weed?

So i went around asking all the people i know who smoke weed, as many questions as i could about their experience(s). Before i get into that though let me just say: Smoking kills! But then so does: Driving and a drunk guy smashes into you Going to the wrong place at the wrong time Too much coffee (coffee is mildly carcinogenic) Committing suicide (you never know when you might feel the urge) Sex A disgruntled boyfriend or girlfriend Choking on roast beef Sunstroke A meteorite Worried about brain cells and activity? alcohol does waaay more damage, once again i
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Nonconformists actually conforming?

Thanks to RoXanStone for pointing this picture out to me. Was gonna write about this but why bother it says it all. (click on image for larger version) If you wanna be a non-conformist try some of these stuff: Walk around naked: who does that? you’ll be the only one in your neighborhood and possibly your city who does that. Create a new language like gypsy or pig latin: kjaksdn lnnajdn lkjanclan lkhbkjh kljnlkjn lkjnkjn kjnkj jnl lnl TRANSLATION: “Phuck the language of the slave masters and oppressors, if you wanna talk to me, talk in my language.” Turn white
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The Magazine


Global Warming, a Money Making Scheme?

I think that when some of these Global Warming Activists see a iceberg break off from an ice shelf due to global warming, they don’t see that that’s the result of years of us burning fossil fuels, I think what they see is green. No, not the green signifying the change in the environment that they want, not the lush vegetation and green pastures that we are destroying, nooo i think they see the green of cold… hard… cash. They see money breaking off and floating by with no one trying to reel it in, that’s where they come in.
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Weed Me

If i was to give up my secular life and decide to be all conscious and what not, grow dreadlocks, eat ital foods i.e. no pork, beef or any type of meat, listen to reggae all day long and give thanks to Jah…oh how could i forget…and smoke weed (pot, herb, skunk, reefer, spliff, marijuana) this is what i would look like. Don’t drink and drive, smoke weed and fly.


Mini me

So i went on the Simpson’s movie website today and i made my own Simpson’s avatar and i ended up with mini me.   Well except for the lack of stubble and sum cool clothes its all good.



So taking a detour from my writing routine of one post per day, i had to come and share this interesting experience on the way home from work. So on with the story: I just jumped into a taxi (and a Jamaican taxi is like a bus that carries only 4-5 complete strangers and the taxi can be any type of car but mainly Toyota’s) and took a seat behind the driver who was busy eyeing a girl as she was sitting down in the passenger seat. Now its not anything new but in this case the taxi man’s eye
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Sooo what do you say, another round of college?

You go to school and if you are fortunate you go to college. By the time you are finished most of what you learnt becomes obsolete. The job you want you are not qualified for mainly because when you were at school the job didn’t exist, and hence, you didn’t need to learn about it ,and the the job you have has evolved so much you need to go back to school. A friend of my Father’s, a 40+ year old man was in a job for 15 years, recently they sent him back to school to catch up. People
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Got Otaku?

According to Seth Godin in the book Purple Cow, Otaku is something thats more than a hobby but little less than an Obsession. Its a Japanese word that has found its way into the English vocabulary, pretty soon it’ll be in all those major dictionary’s, it’ll be like the Nintendo and Karaoke that we have now come to know, anyways, i digress. I wake up come to work and i come online, its a part of my job but when i do its not because i have to, its because i want to, not to check my mail, or sign
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The power of the “V”

No im not talking about the Vagina im talking about the “V” Speech from the movie V for Vendetta. Now i don’t know about anybody else but i had no clue there were so many V words not to mention being able to put them in one paragraph that LOOKS like it could make some sense. If you don’t know which V speech I’m talking about here it is:


Architects, Laywers and Prostitutes

I read this on Jamila’s blog and i just had to post about it: Whenever you see the word ‘Client’ in something to do with building, you know there just has to be an architect involved because no one else in the building game ever refers to anyone as ‘clients’. It is such a strange word, isn’t it? In a shop you are a customer, on a train you are a passenger, in a hospital you are a patient, in a class you are a student, in the economy at large you’d be a consumer. But client? The only people
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Ive been to the end of the internet and back.

I was browsing today and it hit me…I’m basically going to the same sites over and over again. There are over 11 billion website publicly available and i still cant find anything interesting to do. God, I’m either incredibly closed-minded or people are creating more and more crappy websites about nothing, take mine for example, yes this one here that Ive posted to. So… i was browsing then i stopped, i couldn’t think of anything else to do, maybe its time i went outside to get some sun and fresh air, then again id probably get bored there too. So
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PC vs. Mac vs. Linux

So you may wonder why i put “PC” instead of windows, well, most people assume you are talking about a windows computer when you say “PC” after all no one calls a mac or linux-based computer a “PC” plus the Ads are mighty funny so ill stick with that nomenclature. So a relatively new battle has emerged between OS giants Windows and Mac and the new comer Linux. Ive tried all three in fact i use a mac at work, a PC at home and i have linux on ma laptop. Each is good in their own way but i
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The Life and Times of Shonari

A brother, a companion, a true friend. We are so close he could be me, shonari is a gentle soul never seeking danger and it stayed away from him. I knew him from birth, probably earlier and i knew he was eager to come out of the womb. When he did he didn’t like what he saw so and promptly regretted coming out. From his young years he had a love for nature, science and the finer arts, always stoning dog with his excuse being that they didn’t belong. His first science experiment was a huge success when he killed
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Hello my name is Shonari and i’m an addict…Pt2

Part 1 Well i skipped a few steps but i think I’m making some progress… so here is my new and improved updated list of addictions. My computer and by extension the internet: Still addicted Sex: hmmm that one is still up in the air i wouldn’t call it an addiction if u going through a drought but I’m sure if i was getting some I’d be right back at step 1. Lyming: I’m cured! i have now dedicated my lyming time to my computer 7-up: cured! I’m now addicted to pineapple soda Cook food eg. rice and peas, fried
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Dear Diary…

So this will be my first “dear diary” post, a little insight into my day… Today was phucked up. I woke up and went to work then i found out i have this heap of work to do. Then i started feeling ill, dizzy, high temp (not a fever) so i decided I’m going to the doctor (i really hate doctors). So i left work at about 7pm and now im home (carried work with me) and I’m trying to psych myself up to go to the doctor. sigh fun fun fun.


The magic of FREE

Have you ever noticed the magic of the word “free”? I don’t know about you but just the mere whisper of it on the wind and my ears perk up and my head swings in the direction i heard it. I think the word free is one of the top ten words recognized and used worldwide regardless of language, race or culture. Trust me use the word, your conversations will seem more interesting, and all of a sudden you’ll be the center of attention. You could be talking about crap but just the mention of “Free” and someone just may
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What women want

A friend pointed this out to me, and yes men do have it hard.


Inanimate Sexuality Pt1

This is my first attempt at giving life to inanimate objects. I will try to make them feel and touch as we do. Paper Mate Never once in my one year of existence have i ever met a girl like her, usually, people are rough with me pressing me against the cold hard steel, not caring whether or not i see, hear or feel. The first time i opened my eyes i saw something being thrown on me causing me to lose my color instantly. They then threw me and 499 of my other companions in a brown fibrous prison
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Do i look like a Classified Ad?

Well its that time of year again, the time when everybody (well at least ma friends or friends of my friends) are looking a place to live. School starts in September and everybody who doesn’t have a place to live within 10 miles of Papine are now on a house hunt, There is also the other set of people who arnt comfortable with where they are or are being evicted for a plethora of reasons. So i have have now become the “go to guy” for available places for rent, as sure as the sun will rise i am sure
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Quotes that i live by

The end justifies the means A soft answer turns away wrath I’m alone but not lonely To love/like someone is to know when to let them go: Mine Remember the past, live for today, plan for the future Life’s a bitch so be a dog and fuck it Life makes boys of men so be a kid at heart: Mine Ask no questions tell no lies When life gives you lemons make lemonade which came first the chicken or the egg? who cares eat them both!: mine


A Riddle

19+5+24 is not equal to forty eight maybe you need letters to set the facts straight ————————————————————————————————————— Made this yesterday…super easy… make a comment with the answer



In my mind there is only one sexual orientation… man to woman. Homosexuals to me are, well, what i like to call deviants of the one true sexual orientation. It is said in the bible to go forth be fruitful and multiply, i shall reserve judgment as to what i think the homosexuals are doing as it isnt my job to do so. It may sound like i have a problem with them but i don’t, i really dont have a problem at all. The way i see it is that people should be allowed to do whatever they want
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Double Standards

A double standard that i find interesting in life is the fact that men who sleep around (that is, have sex with many girls) get ratings for it while girls who do the same are termed as whores, sluts and all the other derogatory terms. now my view on the whole thing: i think its CRAP. I don’t think in this case, what goes for the guy shouldn’t go for the girl. i think the girl should have sex with anyone she wants without suffering verbal repercussions. So a guy shouldn’t be looking a girl and she is there saying
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Curriculum Vitae

Lest anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my four criteria for the match. First, the potential girlfriend/fwb must be approximately my age—let’s say 21 plus or minus three or four years. Second, the girl must be beautiful (and I use that term all-encompassingly to refer to both inner and outer beauty). Third, she must also be reasonably intelligent—she doesn’t have to be Mensa material, but the ability to carry on a witty, insightful argument would be nice. And finally she must not be too emotionally stricken that
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Mischief Managed

I find myself unable to cry, not because i refuse to but because my body wont allow it…i don’t know how to explain it but even after some kind of loss, in the confines of my own space, i will feel the sadness and grief build up, and that lump will form in my throat and the shivering will begin but no tears will come. Am i trying not to show signs of weakness even to myself? Who knows. I realized this after reading the final chapter of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Throughout my final adventure with
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